It Doesn't Feel Good

How It Feels is the new book by Australian thespian Brendan Cowell. This book came highly recommended to my by a couple book loving friends who’s opinion I rate pretty highly, however in this case their sense of taste may be a bit off the mark as this book made me want to throw it across the room every time I open it.

The story centres around Neil Cronk, a boy from the Shire desperate to break out of the white conservative, middle – class area. The book spans 10 years of the life of Neil and his friends, high school girlfriend Courtney, and best mates Gordon and Stuart. The novel focuses on various important times and events in their young lives, uni, travel, career, marriage and babies. Cowell divides the book into 3 parts, covering an ‘era’ – end of school, uni, and travel/career/marriage.

To me these aspects of life are an attractive element of the book as they are events and rituals that many young Australians can relate to (including myself), however for me that is where the interest ends as the protagonist Neil is such a self absorbed arsehole that it is difficult to look beyond this unsympathetic character and really engage with the story and the serious issues (suicide, rape, self – doubt, drug addiction – yes it has it all!) that Cowell writes about. It is not until mid in the third part that we begin to see some semblance of a human being that feels when Neil is faced with a crisis that seems to penetrate the tough exterior that he has built. However it is only a fleeting glimpse of the man, and honestly it is too late in the piece to engender any sympathy toward the man.

In reading this novel I expected to not only follow the journey of these characters, but also travel them, feeling like I can care for their wellbeing. Setting aside the problems I had with the personalities, How It Feels simply feels superficial. It covers a lot of ground without getting into the nitty gritty, Neil bounces from one situation to another with a bit of navel gazing thrown in. Suffered from anxiety issues in the bedroom – Neil has. Hands up if you have issues with your absent father, oh Neil’s hand is up. Oh no your best friend was a drug addict that committed suicide and no one told you for a day, shit that happened to Neil too! What, your girlfriend was attacked round the back of a Tescos which killed your unborn baby? Yep happened to Neil. I bet that sent you spiralling into an Ice addiction just like Neil. I’m sure you get the point.

The other major problem I had with this book is some of the laughable language that is used. There are some cracker quotes in here that provide some comic relief rather than the serious and thoughtful tone that is intend. Let me entertain you with some of the corkers……………

“Standing over the circle [toilet], piss came out of my dick. Then I put my dick back in my pants and opened the bag of speed I’d bought from one of the dwarves”.

“If you want to kiss someone, kiss me, Swanna whispered in my ear. And so I did, with roughness and teeth. Even in this kissing I wanted to make violence on Gordon’s head”.

Pondering How It Feels, I concluded that Neil is a spoilt brat rather than a tortured artist. The novel has plenty of shock value in it, however by the end I was so bored I just wanted it to be over. Suicide is a major theme of the book and by the end I was so desperate for Neil to commit it because I could not stand him any longer. I won’t tell you if I got my wish….

If you’d like to read some more reviews of Brendan Cowell’s book here you go! It appears this book has polarised the masses.....

The Enthusiast

Literary Minded

The Book Club Nerd

PS Brendan - it's Springwood, not Springbrook as you describe in the book